What to Do if You Are Really Stressed Out

Written By Elaine Chan-Scherer, LCSW

I had the opportunity this week to feel really stressed out.  I call it an opportunity because it gives me something of current interest to share with you.  Fortunately, I’ve been in enough therapy, done enough therapy, taken enough courses, read enough books...to have some idea of what to do about it.  Of course, every body and every psyche responds differently, but I will share my tips with you.

If you feel panicked,

• Sit down, look around you, and
• Name 10 things you see (“I see a red book.   I see an empty food container.   I see a yellow tool box.  etc.”)
• Pick up an object and describe it in as much detail as possible (use your five senses – how does it smell? What does it look like?  How does it taste (if it is tastable)?  How does it feel (is it heavy, light, rough, smooth, etc.)? How does it sound? 
• Remind yourself of the year, day, month and time.  
• If you are still panicked, cross your arms and tap your right arm with your left hand and your left arm with your right hand (the butterfly tap!).  Tap up and down your arms.
• Tap your right knee with your left fingers and your left knee with your right fingers.
• Hug your body as tightly as possible.  You can hug a pillow to your body too.
• Do whatever would be the equivalent of swaddling yourself (wrap yourself in a blanket or shawl; zip up or button up your jacket; tighten your belt)

The reason this works is that when you are panicked, your brain is sending signals that you are in danger.  Your adrenaline is running and your flight/fight/freeze response is kicked into gear.  The blood leaves your limbs to get your heart pumping so you can run.  That is why you may perspire, feel your heart pounding, and not be able to think clearly.  You want to do things to let your brain know that you are not in immediate danger.  Chances are some past trauma is being triggered in you.  Trauma memories are different from regular memories – the mind thinks that you are in the midst of real danger again and responds appropriately for the past danger but not for the current situation.  You can thank your body for trying to protect you and then give it signals that the danger was in the past and you are actually safe right now.  The tapping helps with stimulating both sides of the brain.  The hugging and swaddling help to calm down the nervous system.  When our bodies are forming, the skin is formed at the same time as the nervous system, so the skin is very sensitive.

If you are feeling anxious,

• Check in with your body.  Have you had enough to drink or eat?  Are you cold/hot/uncomfortable? Address your physical needs, if possible.
• Write down what is causing your anxiety.  Or draw about it.  Or write a song about it.  Or create something representing it.  It is important to get the anxiety provoking thoughts out of your body and onto something concrete.  Otherwise the thoughts will keep recycling in your head.
• If possible, get out in nature.  Nature heals.  Visualize your stress going into the earth through your feet and fill in your body with the healing energy of the sun (or some soothing color).
• If possible, exercise.  A brisk walk (or any walk!).  A quick jog.  Even jumping jacks will help.  If you can, do some yoga.
• Take a bath or a shower.  Warm water soothes our skin and relaxes the body and mind.   Visualize your stress washing down the drain and your body filling up with a soothing color.
• Drink something warm (tea? broth?)

This is not an exhaustive list, but I hope some of these tips may help you.    The reason that psychotherapy is more helpful in reducing stress and anxiety than reading an article is because we are all different and have different things that may be causing the stress.  When trying to identify the stressors and while working on specific solutions to address the stressors, it is often nurturing and helpful to have an objective guide. 

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